A few months ago, I was approached by the Chicago Bloggers community about their upcoming annual conference. The group organizer, Oksana, asked if I would be interested in being one of 4 speakers at the event. My first instinct was to say yes. The event was months away and it sounded like a great opportunity (it was!) However, as the date loomed closer and closer, I got more and more nervous. Who would want to listen to me speak? (Cue all the self-deprecating thoughts.)
The conference took place this past weekend and whether I wanted to or not, I knew that I had to follow through with my commitment to speak. I was the most nervous for my afternoon time slot…30 minutes that I could structure any way I wanted to. I struggled to think that anyone would be interested to hear me talk about blogging/my journey for more than 10 minutes, but I was surprised at what actually occured.
The conference was filled with women who were eager to learn, connect, and grow. I found myself relating to so many of the conference attendees in conversations, expressing the same feelings and struggles in a safe and judgement-free space.
The title of the conference was “Becoming”, built on three pillars: Be Real, Be Present, and Be You. I was told to speak on how to “be you”, and struggled with whether or not I had the courage to tell my bullying story. (If you don’t know what I’m referring to, click here to watch a video on my story.) On one hand, I knew that my story was powerful and fit perfectly into the frame of learning how to love and accept yourself. But on the other hand, my story is still painful for me to relive and tell to strangers I don’t know.
At the last minute, I decided to tell my story and every pain-staking detail. I found that the women at the conference reacted with compassion, and SO many of them came up to me after my speech to let me know that they related to it in some capacity and felt for me. Telling my story to people I didn’t know was scary, but also cathartic. At the end of the day, we are all human and have pasts that are sometimes messy and hard to talk about.
Through my pain, I learned to pick myself back up (albeit, years later) and try again. That’s what www.EmmaLenhart.com is to me today. It’s physical proof that I didn’t let those bullies keep me down forever or stomp out my creativity. I’m living proof that things will work out – and you can always try again.
I learned so much from not only the other speakers at the event, but also the women who attended, and surprisingly, myself. I learned that I am resilient and while I can get nervous and overthink things (like speaking to a crowd of people I don’t know for 30 minutes), I can get through it. I learned that some of the most powerful tools we have in this life is the ability to connect, tell our stories, and empathize with others.
To the Chicago Bloggers community: thank you for pushing me past my comfort zone and allowing me the space to tell my truth.
And to all of my loyal readers out there: thank you, too. I wouldn’t be here without you all and hope you know that I am always there for you. (Seriously – I’m just an Instagram DM away.)
Photography: Nelly Kachanovsky
